Rose’s Testimony

colourful_roseI am Rose and I come from England. For some years I have been part of this family and I thank the Lord for this great gift. I am happy to share with you my resurrection.  I first came into the community to overcome  my dependency.  I did not think it would really change my life.  I lived years of superficial life and I used alcohol and drugs, despite having my financial independence.  I lived alone and this made me think I was free.  I lived a false life with my family, wearing  a “mask” to hide  my problems.  Deep in my heart there was emptiness and sadness and nothing in my life made me happy.  My dependence on alcohol grew` and slowly I lost everything, my dignity and all my material ‘securities’.

And then I had to ask for help from my family and that led me to the community.  When I entered in the fraternity in Cherasco I felt at once peace and the feeling of being in the right place but it was difficult because I was still trying to escape form things in my life by filling it with things to do.  I did not want to pray because I was afraid of silence and of facing  my problems.  My conscience was telling me to try to pray , but my pride would not allow me creating a huge conflict within me And so, I had difficulty in my path and I returned home after a year and a half, having let my pride win as I refused  to kneel down.  During this time I relapsed and I came to understand that I had to return to the community. I had to lower myself, my big pride, and it was very difficult for me, but I realised  my sadness and felt I no longer wanted to be like this.
My family were near me and accompanied me to the fraternity of Bartres near Lourdes where I began to choose a better life.  After only seven days I went to the Grotto in Lourdes and I felt then a great gift.  I felt I had to try and pray so that I could truly change my  life and I had to go on my knees and I found the strength at the feet of Maria in front of  the Blessed  Sacrament. Little by little I began to make  forward  steps in the light and experience peace and forgiveness.  I was able to start again, to forgive myself, and even now this is helping me to heal from my past wounds.
In daily life I feel I am in a family and I am thankful because through  prayer I feel friendship, lots of love, unity, trust, mercy that help me to always start again, to accept myself and to grow in life with all my gifts and weaknesses..  I feel that I am  becoming a real woman and no longer  that sad person, who was without hope and angry.  I see the steps I am making to become more patient, more maternal, more smiling and free and I realize that everyday I learn more to  give more and I am happy.
I want to thank the community because in this walk I have received many blessings and a  new life, certainly much more than I could have thought since the day I joined.
I want to give back to everyone all the gifts I have freely received.  With the help of the Lord and of Mary I would like to realise all the good wishes born in my heart in all these years’ walk.  Thanks to the community because every day I am learning to go down on my knees and pray.  Thank you Mother Elvira for your great example of freedom.
Thanks you for all that you have done for us and for all your teachings to make us free, to be women with dignity.
Thank you because here God has saved my  life.

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